missing someone

… is waking up in the morning feeling like a part of you remains on the pillow.

… is being unable to watch a movie or read a book or people-watch without thinking of what you’re missing

…is feeling lost and confused when you’re walking down the street.

…is feeling lost and confused, period.

…is feeling perpetually bittersweet, even when you’re as close to happy as happy can get in your situation.

…is being slightly removed, never totally immersed in a situation.

…is laughing when you don’t feel like it.

…is anger, and disbelief, and humiliation, and yet understanding, all at once

…is staring into a burning candle until you can’t look away

…is when your ceiling appears blank even when you’ve plastered posters all over it

…is everything blurring together.

…is everything being amplified: colors, sounds, everything seems sharper somehow (just before it blurs together)

…is just floating through it all.

…is agitation.

…is mournful orchestration.

…is worse at night, when all there is to do is stare into the darkness and think.

…is a strange sort of peace in which nothing feels right and yet somehow everything falls into place.

…is becoming addicted to your own feeling of melancholy – you bask in what you feel sets you apart.

…and none of this is good, but somehow it’s started to feel natural to the point I don’t really think about it as odd anymore.

~ by Girlbird on August 24, 2008.